I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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