did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
