i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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