I love black thongs
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize