Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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