weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
