pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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