Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
