just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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