I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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