eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
