Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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