Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
