is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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