You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
