Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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  (908): You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid. http://tfl.nu/9kqb
  Replies (5) Good night (605) Bad night (2815)
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  (718): View more from New York

  did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?

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  (718): did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are? http://tfl.nu/17ys
  Replies (17) Good night (4110) Bad night (769)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees

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  (724): If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees http://tfl.nu/kant
  Replies (17) Good night (4340) Bad night (1264)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They have a pepper shaker for pot.

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  (248): They have a pepper shaker for pot. http://tfl.nu/nws4
  Replies (8) Good night (4601) Bad night (1010)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...

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  (630): Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know... http://tfl.nu/4kg9
  Replies (7) Good night (1442) Bad night (1940)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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  (902): The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat http://tfl.nu/pk4p
  Replies (3) Good night (2831) Bad night (1349)
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  (925): View more from California

  Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities

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  (925): Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/6vqv
  Replies (9) Good night (1608) Bad night (660)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.

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  (304): I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/ufac
  Replies (17) Good night (1811) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.

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  (978): Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace. http://tfl.nu/dayc
  Replies (4) Good night (1269) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.

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  (541): I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea. http://tfl.nu/3k5t
  Replies (11) Good night (1187) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.

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  (407): I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense. http://tfl.nu/ur01
  Replies (9) Good night (683) Bad night (1677)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  This could be the definition of living by yourself

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  (281): No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower (1-281): This could be the definition of living by yourself http://tfl.nu/oh63
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY

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  (559): His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY http://tfl.nu/rsnd
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?

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  (412): Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony? http://tfl.nu/xq89
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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  (501): I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit. http://tfl.nu/ez6v
  Replies (0) Good night (891) Bad night (311)

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