carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.