I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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