Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.