it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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