how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
