oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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