Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize