Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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