I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
