So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize