there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
