no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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