thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
