He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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