i permit you to call me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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