Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
