My friends, they love my intelligence
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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