Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
