Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
