The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
