maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
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Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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