I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
