U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
