i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
