brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
