My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize