her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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