the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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