if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
