so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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