but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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