her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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