The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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