Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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