Have you finally orgasmed yet?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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