She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
