They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
