so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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