we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
