I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
