oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
