marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
