I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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