I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
