You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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