just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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