Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize