I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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